POLL: How Many of You Know "Ozymandias"?
And How Many of You Groove on Cottage Loaf?
I’ve finished (finally) with my latest book, a work of witchy philosophy called Magik: A Witch on How to Enchant the World. It’s the most deeply ranging non-fiction work I’ve written—a history of the arc of Western thought and how it both exudes and suppresses the magik that would save us as a species. So, yeah, I lack ambition.
As I’ve noted elsewhere, I delve into stuff the average person doesn’t. I’ve never fit in, and I exacerbate that by digging deeper, then digging in my heals when my weirdness is pointed out to me. (Fr’instance, I use the word “exacerbate” when I could as easily say “make it worse.”) I don’t do it because I’m trying to show I’m smart (I don’t think I am), but that’s one of the more mild results of using dime-store words and concepts.
Smarty-Pants
I want readers to dig deeper with me … ‘cuz, well, it’s fun, and I hope I’m not the only one who thinks so.
I’m the person who, when reading an article or a book with a term or concept I don’t recognize, goes and looks it up. I pack my prose with those unearthed gems, ‘cuz I want you to dig up this cool stuff for yourself. Also, I’m naively optimistic that readers wanna know that arcanery.
I don’t just try to make my point. Oh, no! Once I’ve made the point, I heap on another illustration, with another concept/metaphor/analogy. Partly because I think it’s cool how seemingly different things are really deep-down connected. And I operate with the notion that perhaps someone out there who hasn’t gotten my point will now get it, if I just heap on another concept/metaphor/analogy. Hemingway would never stop vomiting if he came back today and read me.
My Loving Editor
Pam is my ultimate editor. The poor thing graciously reads everything I write before I publish it, if only to stop me from bugging her. (“Whadja think? Huh? Huh?”) She’s pointed out to me the above tendency, saying things like, “Babe, you landed the plane three chapters back. Why are you still flying on the tarmac?”
These are things to ponder before you enter into a 40-year relationship with your local Babsie of choice. Caveat emptor.
Ozzy
Yesterday, in her editing of my 87th draft of Magik, Pam pointed out a reference I make to “Ozymandias”. Now, at her request, I’m taking a poll.
Regardless of your answer, I’m still not gonna stop being the magik I am. In fact, even if the poll returns a solid 89.567% of “¿Que?”, I won’t stop packing oddball references into my writing, on the off chance that the 10.433% might see what I mean from that extra, esoteric angle I add in. Such is my life. Like Cottage Loaf.
I could make bread the conventional way, as it’s easier to slice into butterable pieces of toast and regular-form sandwiches. But it’s a COTTAGE LOAF, people! I had to look this up from another age entirely. Isn’t it cool? Might 10.433% of you groove on its very existence? Hell, yes, I’m betting the farm on it!
And it’s worth it. (Even though Pam is right, and I could save my readers the extra effort, even as they grumble that I’m virtue-signaling my smarts [that I really don’t have].) To all a good night.
Ozzy’s Cottage Loaf
Nothing beside remains. Round the display
Of that cottage loaf, warm and bare
The lone and level crumbs stretch far away.
Prep Time: 30min, + 3hrs proving Cook Time: 30min Total Time: 4hrs Difficulty: Medium Servings: 12-15 slices
EQUIPMENT
Baking Scale
Sifter
Large Bowl
Stand Mixer w/ Bowl & Dough-Hook attachment (optional)
Proving Container
Baking sheet
Parchment Paper
Knife
Plastic Proving Bag
Baking stone (optional)
Bread/Pizza paddle
Toothpick/Skewer (optional)
INGREDIENTS
3⅔C (500g) strong white bread flour, plus extra for dusting
2¼t (7g) instant dried yeast
½-1C (40-80g) sourdough starter, also known as a "levain" (optional)
1⅛t (7g) fine salt
scant ¼C (40g) caster sugar
scant 3T (40g) unsalted butter, grated or softened & cut into small pieces,
1T Olive Oil, plus extra for oiling proving container
⅔C (160 ml) milk, whole
⅔C (160 ml) cold water
Cooking Spray (optional)
DIRECTIONS
DOUGH & 1ST PROVE
1a. Sift flour into large bowl (or bowl of stand mixer). Add yeast (plus optional sourdough starter/levain) to one side and salt & sugar to the other.
1b. In separate vessel, combine milk and water.
1c. Add butter, olive oil, and 3⁄4 of water to bread dough bowl.
1d. Mix with fingers, gradually adding more water, till you pick up all flour from bowl sides. (Depending on your climate and conditions of the day, you may use less, full amount, or more water to get a soft—but NOT soggy dough.)
[Alternatively, mix at med-low speed (4 on KitchenAid), adding more of the milk/water combo as needed. Knead dough in mixer for 5-7 minutes, till dough starts slapping sides of mixer bowl, or dough is at windowpane stage (see below).]
2a. [Not needed if using stand mixer.] Tip dough onto lightly floured workspace and knead 5–10 minutes. As you knead, dough will move from sticky to smooth and silky.
(Baking B*tch Tip #1: Do the windowpane test with the dough: if you can stretch it between your fingers till you see light through it, without it tearing, then you’ve properly kneaded.)
2b. Put dough in oiled proving container or lightly oiled bowl, place bowl in plastic proving bag, or cover bowl with tea towel. Prove 2-3 hrs, till double in size.
(Baking B*tch Tip #2: If you don’t have a proving drawer, but you do have an over-the-stove microwave with a stove light nestled under it, turn on the light over the stove. Close covered dough bowl in microwave. The warmth of the bulb and the sealed microwave interior creates an ideal proving environment. I do this for all my yeast-based doughs.)
2c. While dough proves, layer baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.
SHAPING & 2ND PROVE
3. Tip dough onto lightly floured workspace (don't over-flour). Fold inwards repeatedly to knock out air.
4a. Tear off 1⁄3 of dough, and set aside. (To be exact, you can first weigh entire dough, then tear off 1⁄3 of weight.)
4b. With hands, flatten larger portion into rectangle (long side facing you), then roll rectangle into a thick tube/cylinder shape.
4c. Turn tube so one short edge faces you, and flatten slightly with hands.
4d. Fold each short end of cylinder up and into center, both folded ends meeting each other. Press down to create a chunky, square-like, sandwich shape.
4e. Turn over "sandwich" so seams of your fold are now underneath. (All these shaping movements are changing the structure of the glutens, to allow you a puffy, taut, cottage-loaf shape.)
4f. Put your palms up on either side of sandwich, and backs of hands on floured workspace. Tuck the edges of palms just under each side of sandwich.
4g. Now, push in palms to curl under the dough on each side, turn 1⁄4 and repeat this tucking motion. Continue turning and tucking, to fashion a silky smooth, tight top, even as you mold the dough into a domed, circle shape.
4h. Put dough dome on parchmented baking sheet. Set aside
5a. Repeat Steps 4b-g^^ for smaller 1⁄3 dough.
5b. Put smaller 1⁄3 on top of larger dome, and flatten top gently with palm of one hand.
6a. CRITICAL STEP: Flour middle and fore fingers, then insert together through centre of both domes, all the way till fingertips touch baking sheet.
6b. With knife, make 8 slashes around diameter of both bottom and top domes.
7. Put baking sheet inside proving bag and prove 1hr, till risen and springy if pressed with fingertip.
BAKE
8. 30 min before end of prove, put rimmed baking tray on oven bottom rack, and preheat oven to 425°F/220°C (450°F/230°C high altitude).
Baking B*tch Tip #3: I keep a baking stone in my oven, using bread/pizza paddle to taking loaf (with parchment paper) off baking sheet and place on pre-heated stone. I remove loaf with a bread/pizza paddle inserted between parchment and stone.
9a. Just before bake, pour vessel of hot tap water into baking tray on bottom rack. 9b. Remove tin from plastic bag, lightly dust loaf with flour, then place in oven.
10. Bake 25-30min, till risen and mystically golden brown. (You can poke bread with a toothpick/skewer to test doneness, if you're not sure. If pokey thingy comes out with gunk on it, ze bread ees not done.)
11. After removing from oven, cool 5 min. Transfer bread from tin to wire rack to finish cooling.