Pagan Pride and Pulled Pork Nachos
Heat Exhaustion is the Real Deal
See, this is why I’m officially swearing off showing my art at outdoor venues.
That Was Then …
At last year’s Fort Collins (CO) Pagan Pride, I sold oodles of original art. The weather was warm, but our tent was in the shade of an accommodating pine tree. We were relatively near to drop-off/pick-up, so unloading, setting-up, and tearing down were labor intensive but not physically debilitating.
Based on the success of last year and the amazing time that FOCO Pagan Pride always is, I signed up to vend at this year’s event, which had doubled in size and vendor turn-out, which meant that, yesterday, I should’ve understood that last year was last year. The elements in Colorado offer no guarantees.
… This Is Now
Per usual, the organizers and the event vibe were off-the-charts delightful. However, the distance Pam and I had to trek from unloading to our tent site had quadrupled and was at the top of a slope. Gentle slope, mind you, but apt to wear ya down with multiple trips.
Still, we trudged on and made the best tent set up ever of all the events I’ve ever done.
We did a good clip of selling my books, but nary a sniff for the artwork. And the temperatures rose. Sweat was a constant companion. So were Gatorade, water, and Kombucha.
By the time my art workshop started in the event tent 20 yards behind us, temps had hit the low 90s, but some welcomed cloud cover had moved in from the mountains to the west.
Colorado Sniggers at Your Weather Forecast
The clouds overstayed their welcome, having brought their uncouth first-cousin from the mountains, El Windo Magnifico. Mind you, we had weighted down our tent, and the weather forecast featured nary a drop of rain.
In the middle of my workshop, as the wind blew the contents of my hands-on art presentation (and the budding artworks of the attendees) to a realm far away, in another dimension, I turned to see our tent stripping itself of the surly bonds of earth.
Pam soldiered on heroically, saving all the artwork and books from the rain. The host of folks who wrassled down the tent even saved it from harm. Still, everything got a fine Colorado baptism.
You can find my art (uh, still in tact) (and prints & merch) at Fine Art America.
And, of course, the sun came back out to broil us as we tore down the remains of the disaster and trekked down and up the hill to load everything back into Escapé, our ever-reliable little SUV.
So, Yeah, Heat Exhaustion Calls for Pulled Pork Nachos
I’m not exaggerating—Pam and I got heat exhausted doing all this.
After trundling home (did I mention that Escapé is reliable but their AC is not?), two never-ending picnic baskets of sweat, stomach-slosh, fatigue, fear, and loathing, we cleaned up and collapsed. I slept 12 hours, then took a mid-morning nap for another two.
Thus, I will be making Pulled Pork Nachos. It’s what Pagans do. It’s the recipe this Pagan is sharing here. Enjoy (without any Hindenburgian disasters).
Pagan Pulled Pork Nachos
Prep Time: Literally 10min, even for a heat-exhausted schlep Cook Time: 10-15 min Total Time: 30min Servings: Enough for two famished storm-surviving Pagans
EQUIPMENT
Uh, a baking tray?
A good movie or show to watch while you eat
INGREDIENTS
Tortilla Chips
Shredded Cheese
Pulled Pork
More Shredded Cheese
Fuck, no, I’m not putting beans on this. They get in the way of the meat, and I’m heat-exhausted; I can’t go to the effort of opening a can.
½ to 1 onion, diced
1 tomato, diced
More Shredded Cheese
A few jalapeños, if you’re not too prostrate to open the jar
More Pulled Pork
Salsa
Shredded cheese (to garnish)
Instructions
Preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C for those too exhausted to google the temp conversion).
Shovel ingredients1 in layers onto baking tray. (Yeah, okay, okay. You can toss beans on there, too, if you have the energy. Whatever.)
Bake for 10-15 min. (Your neighbor can remove from oven if the idea of anymore heat makes you wanna throw up.)
Serve with ice-cold beer of choice and vow over a candlelit altar that you will never again show art outdoors, even if it’s a really amazing event like FOCO Pagan Pride. You’ll just attend, and maybe buy your nachos next year from a food truck at the event.
See what I did there? I was too tired to tell you how to make the pulled pork, which endeavor takes about 3 days and which I’ll feature in a paid-subscriber post some day when I’ve recovered. I just thawed the pulled pork I presciently froze a month or so ago.