How to NOT Know You're Trans - AUDIOBOOK (Part 1 of 2)

How to NOT Know You're Trans - AUDIOBOOK (Part 1 of 2)



"In 2018, I didn’t merely come out MtF transgender, I discovered I was trans in the first place—as much news to me as it became to the world. On December 31, 2017, to quote the movie, Hot Fuzz, I had 'a great big bushy beard.' A year later, I was growing breasts! Yes, real breasts, as I hit my true puberty."


What's it like to be a trans woman? Even crazier, what's it like to NOT KNOW you're trans for your first 50+ years? It's a rollercoaster of joy, heartbreaking sadness, difficult trials and transformations, and tons of comic relief—like any life … but with the twist of coming of age in a world that still seems not ready for trans folk to hit prime time. Bethany's memoir of how she and her marriage have survived and THRIVE is what it means to be human.


5.0 out of 5 stars

This memoir is raw and funny and poignant and illuminating and full of grace.

Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2020

Here's a picture of me hugging "How to Not know You're TRANS" after I finished it. I've known Bethany for a long time, since before she knew she was Bethany. About a year after she came out, I realized I was so used to thinking of her as Bethany that I didn't remember her "dead name." It took me hours to figure it out. Bethany was herself, and her past - while a part of history not to be erased - wasn't intruding on my appreciation of her present. See, even in that, Bethany taught me something! And that is the gift of this book - the teaching, which has been Bethany's whole life, both in her approach to family and to her multifaceted career....

I loved this memoir for many reasons. It was real and raw. No holds barred, the story of a really difficult discovery and transition and the havoc it created on the way to the grace of a life lived in truth instead of behind the veil of confusion. I imagine that when Bethany found out she was Bethany, it was like the first time I put on my glasses - I could see every pine needle and blade of grass, and it was all so beautiful! I think she hints at this new "vision" and the inspiration it brings a few times in her book. I feel like this approach to blossoming could be applied, with a little license, to many types of painful and punishing changes that people go through - even us cishet folks.... Be brave, tell the truth, and do what you need to do.

Besides the inspiration value of Bethany's memoir, I also enjoyed her writing style. It was super-accessible, and varied in format (I loved the flashbacks, the photographs, and the selections from private journals, documents, and Facebook posts, as well as the traditional memoir-y narrative parts). Buy this book and take it to heart! You won't be sorry.


Regina W - 5.0 out of 5 stars

A Unique Transgender Narrative

Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2020

How to Not Know You're Trans is a memorable read for me. It is memorable in the fact that it is a different narrative than the "typical" trans story line. It is also the narrative that most closely approximates my story. When I looked at the story critically i wondered about character development and it seemed lacking until Bethany was "born." The story had wandered around the areas of a persons life with little to establish a linear timeline. Perfect!! How can there be character development years before the authentic persona emerges. Exactly the point. I hope that this helps to explain the dis-ease of ones existence when you can't explain yourself to yourself. Kudos to Bethany's journey in this heartfelt and honest book. Well done Bethany!!


Bailey DiStefano - 5.0 out of 5 stars

A Breath of Fresh Air

Reviewed in the United States on February 16, 2020

I thoroughly enjoyed Bethany Beeler’s memoir - it is full of raw honestly and personal insightfulness that is genuinely hard to find. There is so much pressure (both on public figures and in our own lives) to have our stories follow a linear path, to be able to look back on our pasts and find exact events and instances which shaped us into who we are. Beeler’s story into finding who she is follows a winding path that never has a firm beginning and will never have an ending. She gave herself the gift to look at her life not like chapters in a book that ends, but like a long road which is constantly evolving, and which she can look back on and look forward to with no judgment or shame. It’s beautiful and full of grace to herself and others. It has no pressure to name the “big moments”, or follow a time line and a strict cause and effect. Her willingness to share her story is refreshing as it is revolutionary - a highly recommended read.

2 people found this helpful


Jakob - 5.0 out of 5 stars

Deeply Moving but Fun and Wonderful!

Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2020

Absolutely STUNNING! "How to Not Know You're Trans" is a deeply emotional story full of confusion, pain, joy, and growth. In a world with a small, yet growing, representation of trans and non-binary people, this book helps readers everywhere on the gender binary understand themselves and others in a deeper and more compassionate way.

2 people found this helpful


  • Listening Length - 7 hours and 25 minutes
  • Author - Bethany A. Beeler
  • Narrator - Bethany A. Beeler
  • Publisher - Beautiful Buddha Books, Bethany A. Beeler
  • Program Type - Audiobook
  • Version - Unabridged
  • Language - English
  • Sold in Parts

    Please note that, due to Audio-file size constraints, this book must be sold in sections. You must purchase all the partitions to get the full work. But wait—this is no scam! Rest assured that, all the parts, combined, are sold for substantially less than they are from Amazon and Audible, where those sites take their pound of flesh from the author. This website is totally funded and constructed by Bethany. The only way she can provide her AudioBooks at the substantial price discount (up to 33%) is because no middle parties are taking their chunk. Bethany appreciates your patience in dealing with the partitioning but also believes that AudioBooks can (and should be) available for substantially less than the bigwigs charge. Consider this you and her "sticking it to da man" and reading at a more realistic price point! ;-)

$10.00 Regular Price
$9.00Sale Price

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