Giving to One Who Gives All

Trans Marriages Are Like Any Other

Pam and I recently celebrated our 34th anniversary. I know this woman like I know no one else. I know her now in ways I couldn't have dreamt when we first met or at any other point in our relationship.

But how can I fathom everything she's given me?

In How to NOT Know You're Trans, I detail how we navigated a marriage in which I didn't know till my 50s that I'm trans. Yet, there's so much more to Pam than what she has surrendered and what she has gained through our transition.

To define Pam or our marriage only in terms of the gift she gave in sticking with me through my transition where other spouses do not is to do her horrific dishonor.

Marriage and War

And I do mean "our." G. K. Chesterton said that "Marriage is an adventure, like going to war." It's a giving and taking of ground, though, only so long we see it as a competition with a winner. When we realize that the ground given and taken has always been ours, the war is over—or was never a war in the first place.

Yours, Mine, Ours

To define Pam or our marriage only in terms of the gift she gave in sticking with me through my transition where other spouses do not is to do her horrific dishonor.

For she's always giving. And taking.