How Does This Witch Look at Things?
The Boondock Soda Bread Way
I look at the world right now, and I don’t see an election year. And that feels good because my life (and yours) doesn’t hang on the media cycle. It’s not a cycle at all, really. It’s a bunch of way-past-al-dente spaghetti splattered on the civilizational consciousness. Which is really no way to do consciousness at all. The world is good, even when it comes to the way we live, even when we feel like, “Shit! This is no way to live.”
I find magik in the least likely of places … like Boondock Soda Bread.
Whether you know the movie, Boondock Saints, or not, I’ll try to make this magik for you.
On St. Paddy’s Day, our two heroes are in their bar with their friends, when Russian mobsters barge in. Connor and Murphy say, “C’mon, have a drink—everybody’s Irish today.” The self-important mobsters reject that perfectly cromulent offer and punch the boys’ best friend in the face. The brothers shoot their Hennessy’s and totally demolish the mobsters, leading to next day, when the Russians return to kill them. To keep it brief, I’ll say there are burn-diapers, a falling toilet, Willem Dafoe as the best FBI agent portrayal in cinematic history, and about 50 million gangsters blown away for the next 90 minutes.
Good, clean family fun.
The point isn’t to declare Boondock Saints magik (uh, it is). The contemporary scene wants to burst into our consciousness like the Russian mob into an Irish bar. We were having a good time, weaving through the obstacle course of modern life. Nobody asked Russkie criminals to break up the party.
But that’s exactly what Papa Culture says must happen, whenever he wants.
And I just shoot my Hennessy’s and make Soda Bread, because it’s contemplative for me. When the shit breaks in and tells you to stop enjoying your drink and your friends, punch that shit in the quads with your own personal Soda Bread. Do it for you. Do it for all of us. It ain’t St. Patrick’s Day, but, hell, we all have the chance to be Irish.
It’s up to us.
Boondock Soda Bread
Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 45 minutes Total Time: 1hr Difficulty: Easy Servings: Servings: 8-10
EQUIPMENT
Cooking spray, for greasing Parchment paper
1lb standard bread loaf tin
Lg mixing bowl
Whisk
Spatula (silicone or wooden)
Baking thermometer w/ probe
INGREDIENTS
Dry:
2 2⁄3C (400g) stoneground whole wheat flour
3⁄4C+ (100g) rolled oats, plus extra for topping
2 1⁄4t (9g) sea salt
2t (10g) baking soda 2T (10g) cocoa powder 1⁄2C (55g) walnuts
Wet:
1 - 12oz (330ml ) bottle o' stout
2⁄3C (165ml) buttermilk
1t vanilla extract
2T unsalted butter, melted
4T (80g) molasses, or treacle
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350 ̊F/180 ̊C (375°F/190°C, High Altitude).
2. Grease and parchment loaf tin. Set aside.
3. Sift dry ingredients into bowl.
4. Hand whisk till thoroughly combined.
5. Form well in dry-ingredient mixture and add wet ingredients. Now's the time to be quick, whisking till just combined. You want the baking soda to do its leavening in the oven.
6. Using spatula, tip batter into tin.
7. Top poured batter w/ rolled oats.
8. Bake 45-55 min, till cracked dome forms, and skewer inserted into center of bread comes out clean.
9. Cool in pan 5-10 min, then lift by parchment paper onto rack, to cool completely before slicing and serving.
Slàinte Math