Catholic Bishops—Morons or Vipers?

A) Yeah, morons. B) Definitely Trouser-Snake Vipers. C) A little of (A), a little of (B) …

A) Yeah, morons.
B) Definitely Trouser-Snake Vipers.
C) A little of (A), a little of (B) …

How about none of the above?

Let’s weigh the evidence. In this episode of Catholic Hierarchy Follies …

Archbishop Aquila doing his best to make anyone but himself accountable.

Exhibit 1—Cardinal Sergio Obeso Rivera (retired Archbishop of Xalapa, Mexico) says that the victims of pedophilia who “accuse men of the Church should [be careful] because they have long tails that are easily stepped on.” This bozo was recently made a Cardinal (probably because of his PR expertise). Moronic Viper.

Exhibit 2—Providence, RI Bishop Thomas J. Tobin deftly noted that, when Auxiliary Bishop of Pittsburgh, he “became aware of incidents of sexual abuse when they were reported to the diocese” but that he “was not primarily responsible for clergy issues″ (here’s a man who takes his delegated duties with utmost gravity). Viperish Maroon.

Exhibit 3—Bishop Thomas Paprocki (Springfield, IL), Bishop Robert Morlino (Madison, WI), and Archbishop Samuel Aquila (Denver, CO) tripled-teamed their finger-pointing at anyone but themselves, using the good-ole “Blame the homos” and “the laity have been so out-of-control with this sex thing since the 60s” ploys. Will you have a depraved Moe, Larry, or Curly snake?

Exhibit 4—Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò took the machiavellian opportunity to, without any evidence, blame Pope Francis and liberals in the church. King of Viper Assholes.

Not only do they not think they just stepped in dogshit but they righteously proclaim that the aroma of it is the updrafts of the heights in which they ride on eagle’s wings.

Choice (A)—Morons?

Sure, we can easily see that these guys are stultifyingly stupid, living in whited sepulchres, lacking any and all PR savvy. But the sheer malevolence of these statements belies the well-intentioned-buffoon label. Nope. There’s malice here.

Choice (B)—Vipers?

The easier (and more satisfying) answer choice (B) lets us vent our moral outrage. However, this posits that only a few bishops are hideous assholes, while the organism called the hierarchy gets a general pass. Nope. There’s something systemic here.

Choice (C)—Both?

True, you don’t get this kind of self-inflicted stupidity without a whole lot of evil. Answer (C) allows us to feel witty and outraged without ever asking the visible-from-an-orbiting-satellite question: “How are these assholes ‘Princes of the Church?’ ”

All three answers let us posture without ever doing a goddamn thing about the goddamned systemic evil that is the hierarchy of the Catholic Church.

Systemic evil is never dislodged without civil disobedience and great sacrifice. It’s time to rise from our comfy pews to challenge the institution we’ve so taken for granted that we miss the hideous evils done in our name, in our faith, in our trust.

Dogshit and Eagle’s Wings

It’s so easy to say that the clown-bishops listed above just “stepped in it.” But here’s the thing: Not only do they not think they just stepped in dogshit but they righteously proclaim that the aroma of it is the updrafts of the heights in which they ride on eagle’s wings.

And it’s not just these pieces of dogshit who feel justified in making such hideous statements (and in harboring predators). It’s every damn bishop in the hierarchy, including Popes Francis, Benedict, JPII, and Paul who were authored by and who continue to author this broken, malevolent, dysfunctional, drooling narrative.

Put the Keys of Peter in the hands of the true treasures of the Church — the poor, the broken, the prostitutes, the tax collectors, and say that you are not worthy to unstring their sandals.

Nothing Will Change … Unless

Not a goddamned thing will change about that narrative unless we write the next 666+ chapters to break this antichrist’s back. Stand up. Shout it from the pew tops, the duomos, and from your checkbooks.

“I here and now say ‘HELL, NO!’ to this self-insulated, self-perpetuating evil called the institutional Catholic Church. I am calling ‘BULLSHIT!’ on everything—until you bastards dare be like the Christ you smugly profess and drop your trappings and power.

Resign! Every. Last. Damn. One. Of. YOU!

Put the Keys of Peter in the hands of the true treasures of the Church—the poor, the broken, the prostitutes, the tax collectors, and say that you are not worthy to unstring their sandals.

Because if you don’t, you bastards, how will you save your souls?

And how will we save the Church if we don’t demand this of them?

Right. Fucking. NOW!