Ashamed of God? Get Bent, Jonah
Ashamed of God? Get Bent, Jonah
If You Don’t Want A God Who’s A Whore, It Might Say Something About You (and not the Beloved)
If You Don’t Want A God Who’s A Whore, It Might Say Something About You (and not the Beloved)
Most of us have heard of a sea monster swallowing Jonah and spitting him out. The tale persists because of what it ultimately says about us. We can’t stand a god who’s a whore. But buying a trick is the only love we’ll take.
We can’t stand a god who’s a whore. But buying a trick is the only love we’ll take.
The Beloved tells Jonah to warn the Ninevites (ancient Assyrian tyrants who inhabited a Gotham City, the ruins of which dot modern-day Mosul in northern Iraq) of their impending destruction. Jonah promptly flees. “I’d rather be swallowed by a whale shark than help those bastards.”
When the Beloved uses sea-monster vomit to show that “no” isn’t an acceptable answer, Jonah warns the Ninevites, who repent. The Beloved’s about-face on wiping them out pisses off Jonah.
Is not this what I said while I was still in my own country? That is why I fled … for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing. And now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” (Jon 4:2–3, NRSV)
“I knew you’d save those pricks—and for what? They went through the motions to cover their asses! You had to see right through it. But you saved ’em anyway. If you’re gonna humiliate me like this, just shoot me in the head!”
The tale abruptly ends with the Beloved saying
“And should I not be concerned about Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also many animals?” (Jon 4:11, NRSV)
When bad things happen to us, we want a cosmos that makes us pay for our comeback-of-the-year award—not a reality where fake apologies make the Beloved wet to save us.
Chapter 2 shows Jonah chanting a similarly insincere apology to escape a marine creature’s stomach acid. (Would make Buzz proud.) By Chapter 4, mouthing that the Beloved is “slow to anger” and “merciful,” Jonah’s totally unchanged, unrepentant, and bitchfest-pouting about it. He’s no hero.
He’s us.
Instead of a bare-knuckled, smash-mouth god, Jonah gets the Beloved, whoring herself to the point of completely changing her mind even when the apology is as authentic as a prostitute and a trick exchanging body fluids.
Too many times, we live as if the only intimacy we can get is the kind we pay for … with false promises, insincere apologies, and money on the bed. We’re outraged, then, when the Beloved takes the cash and spreads her legs and says, “I can offer you more, but, if this is the only way you’ll let me rip your zipper, I’ll take what I can get.”
I’m not trying to get you to believe in a god, scriptures, or morality. Just the notion that the world doesn’t run by the contracts we draft, sign, and hold ourselves to.
We and Jonah need to get bent. Or unbent. Need to unspread ’em without money changing hands. Love is that way. It whores itself to any humiliation. Just to get close. To steal a fuck … if stealing and fucking are the only way we’ll love.
To learn more about my journey, check out my memoir, How to NOT Know You’re Trans or one of my novels!
As always, your respectful comments are appreciated. 🤗